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 Author | Topic: JOKE CONTEST !!! (Read 298 times) |
lemonpig
Dr Nick West
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Once a Nick fan, Always a Nick fan
Joined: Oct 2007
Gender: Female 
Posts: 1,822
Location: Gravesend - I love that name !
Karma: 20 |  | Re: JOKE CONTEST !!!
« Reply #20 on Sept 12, 2009, 1:44pm » | |
They're great! 
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lara
Partner – Mac
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Joined: Dec 2007
Gender: Female
Posts: 911
Location: Essex
Karma: 20 | | Re: JOKE CONTEST !!!
« Reply #21 on Sept 12, 2009, 4:04pm » | |
I agree  !
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PamA
Partner – Mac
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Joined: Apr 2005
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,033
Location: Hampshire
Karma: 28 | | Re: JOKE CONTEST !!!
« Reply #22 on Sept 12, 2009, 4:19pm » | |
AN ITALIAN BOY'S CONFESSION
"Bless me Father, for I have sinned. I have been with a loose girl."
The priest asks, "Is that you, little Joey Pagano?"
"Yes, Father, it is."
"And who was the girl you were with?"
"I can't tell you, Father. I don't want to ruin her reputation."
"Well, Joey, I'm sure to find out her name sooner or later; so, you may as well tell me now. Was it Tina Minetti?"
"I cannot say."
"Was it Teresa Mazzarelli?"
"I'll never tell."
'Was it Nina Capelli?'
"I'm sorry, but I cannot name her."
"Was it Cathy Piriano?"
"My lips are sealed."
"Was it Rosa DiAngelo, then?"
"Please, Father, I cannot tell you."
The priest sighs in frustration. "You're very tight lipped, and I
admire that. But you've sinned and have to atone. You cannot be an altar boy now for 4 months. Now you go and behave yourself."
Joey walks back to his pew, and his friend Franco slides over
and whispers, "What'd you get?"
"Four months vacation and five good leads."
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Love Pam A xxxx |
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lemonpig
Dr Nick West
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Once a Nick fan, Always a Nick fan
Joined: Oct 2007
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,822
Location: Gravesend - I love that name !
Karma: 20 | | Re: JOKE CONTEST !!!
« Reply #23 on Sept 12, 2009, 6:16pm » | |
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NaomiGemma
Family/staff - Daniel
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Joined: Oct 2008
Gender: Female
Posts: 241
Location: Highlands
Karma: 2 | | Re: JOKE CONTEST !!!
« Reply #24 on Sept 16, 2009, 7:02am » | |
lol!!!!
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Knomerz@hotmail.co.uk |
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babyduck
Staff/Admin - Vivien
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Joined: Jan 2008
Gender: Female
Posts: 400
Location: Notts
Karma: 3 | | Re: JOKE CONTEST !!!
« Reply #25 on Sept 19, 2009, 12:08am » | |
Love this one!
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smoggy
Family/staff - Daniel
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'Rico'
Joined: Nov 2005
Gender: Female
Posts: 233
Karma: 4 | | Re: JOKE CONTEST !!!
« Reply #26 on Sept 20, 2009, 12:49pm » | |
Things You Don't Want To Hear During Surgery
Better save that. We'll need it for the autopsy.
Someone call the cleaner - we're going to need a mop.
Accept this sacrifice, O Great Lord of Darkness.
Bo! Bo! Come back with that! Bad Dog!
Wait a minute. If this is his spleen, then what's that?
Hand me that...uh...that uh.....thingie.
Oh no! I just lost my Rolex.
Oops!
Hey, has anyone ever survived 500ml of this stuff before?
d**n, there go the lights again....
Ya know, there's big money in kidneys. Hell, the guy's got two of them.
What do you mean you want a divorce?
Everybody stand back! I lost my contact lens!
Could you stop that thing from beating; it's throwing my concentration off.
What's this doing here?
I hate it when they're missing stuff in here.
That's cool! Now can you make his leg twitch?!
Well folks, this will be an experiment for all of us.
Sterile, schmerile. The floor's clean, right?
OK, now take a picture from this angle. This is truly a freak of nature!
Nurse, did this patient sign the organ donation card?
Don't worry. I think it is sharp enough.
FIRE! FIRE! Everyone get out!
Darn! Page 147 of the manual is missing!
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"There is no snooze button on a cat who wants breakfast |
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NaomiGemma
Family/staff - Daniel
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Joined: Oct 2008
Gender: Female
Posts: 241
Location: Highlands
Karma: 2 | | Re: JOKE CONTEST !!!
« Reply #27 on Nov 3, 2009, 7:19pm » | |
lol!!
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Knomerz@hotmail.co.uk |
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lemonpig
Dr Nick West
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Once a Nick fan, Always a Nick fan
Joined: Oct 2007
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,822
Location: Gravesend - I love that name !
Karma: 20 | | Re: JOKE CONTEST !!!
« Reply #28 on Nov 17, 2009, 11:29am » | |
You know you live in 2009 when...
1.) You accidentally enter your password on a microwave.
2.) You haven't played solitare with real cards for years
3.) The reason for not staying in touch with your friends is they don't have a screenname or my space
4.) You'd rather look all over the house for the remote instead of just pushing the buttons on the TV
6.) Your boss doesn't even have the ability to do your job.
7.) As you read this list you keep nodding and smiling.
8.) As you read this list you think about sending it to all your friends.
9.) And you were too busy to notice number 5.
10.) You scrolled back up to see if there was a number 5.
11.) Now you are laughing at yourself stupidly.
12.) Put this in your profile if you fell for that, and you know you did
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NaomiGemma
Family/staff - Daniel
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Joined: Oct 2008
Gender: Female
Posts: 241
Location: Highlands
Karma: 2 | | Re: JOKE CONTEST !!!
« Reply #29 on Nov 21, 2009, 9:01pm » | |
Lol!!! that is Brill!
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Knomerz@hotmail.co.uk |
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