Who's going?

[michali]

I can relate to what you are saying Kat, however we all use labels. You see, when we meet / see people we can't ask all possible questions to know them thoroughly so we use what we learn about them from their looks. To do so we use common labels or stereotypes. As much as I agree that this is not the best way to act, it is still how we do it - ut comes naturally. The only thing that we can do about it, in my humble opinion, is not to stick to the lables and give a chance for everyone no matter what our first impression was. What do you think?

BTW - I can find myself in certain websites, but it's not what I meant... it is the labels that don't suit me.

[Katrina]

I try not to use labels because i hate them being used on me. I know labels come to mind automatically but the vast majority of times they turn out wrong.

[michali]

Because they are so general, and hence, inaccurate. Still, one should acknowledge their importance.

[Katrina]

what importance?

[michali]

Labels are.

[Katrina]

yes but why are they important? if all they do is place us in groups where we don't belong, or give us a collective name that takes away are originality and identity. us person is unique and shouldn't be tarred with the same brush even if some personalities are alike.

[michali]

Couldn't be clearer myself.
However, labels are being used when we have only small pieces of information on a person, and we need more info on the spot. Now, as much as placing one in a reference group might do him injustice, you would have to agree with me that normally, we are grouping ourselves with those who are alike us. Therefore, many times (although not always) the qualities of ones group may as well apply on oneself. And many times (although not always) that could serve as a good starting point for conversation - as long as we keep our minds open. You see, Kat, lables are not always negative - they could also refer to positive attributes.

[Katrina]

when you mostly get negitive labels, its awful though

[iris]

hi, i'm back! was doing some fixing stuff and electricity mending too and didn't even get to installing the software yet...but i see you did very well without me.

i want to add to Michali's words about the use of lables.

here's one example of using lables in a positive way: "a doctor's fan". this is a lable we all (maybe at different degrees) use to describe ourselves. we will not be offended by it because we feel it does describe us, and it can give the person standing in front of us some info about us that they might not have in any other way. they can now move on from there and assume we watch the show on a regular basis (which may not necessarily be true, see Michali's case) or that we like discussing previous episodes as a hobby. but it will not tell the others whether we like little britain or not, or even if we like watching TV in general. they can guess and be right or wrong. this is the point where the same lable we accepted can be used to limit our personality into just one attribute, and here's where the person that uses this lable should do it wisely or they'll be in the wrong. got me?

sometimes you'd like to be labled, so the use of it will spare you the need to dwell on things that are basic. example of this: religion issues. when you, kat, started the topic "christmas" your starting point was that you are a christian (of some sort, i assume - for me all sub lables here will say nothing and this is another example to when you want to be in the know and lables could only help) and hence you are going to celebrate it. you didn't start the post by "i'm a christian and i want to ask you about your christmas plans" you also assumed that most of the board members share this lable with you. it can be very tiring to go and ask basic questions all the time, we need a baseline to start from and this is the main use of lables.

there are other lables that may not seem to you as such, because it seems the information they hold is so well known. these lables are neither "positive" nor "negative". the lable "english" for you, the lable "israeli" for me would make an example of this kind.

and finally here's an example of trying to use lables to hurt someone and how to avoid being hurt: the lable "female" applies for all of us here. one can call someone a "female" as a negative thing, because sadly enough, some cultures still believe this sex is inferior, but it won't make the man called like that a female, and it will not make "female" a bad thing to be also - being a "female" will stay a fact clear of judgemental aspects whether you are one or not.
so, you see, in order for a lable to be insulting and limiting, one has to bear a negative meaning for this lable in their mind BEFORE being labled.
this is, btw, the main thing the gay movement has understood in the beginning of the gay liberation movement, and this is why we took the lable "queer" that was originally made to insult and point that something is wrong with us, and addopted it. when calling ourselves queer we embrace this lable and make it a positive one: yes, we're different, but this means unique, not unwhole and damaged, and also, it says we're flexible in our self perseption and we don't stick in to lables unless they fit us in a certain moment - saying nothing about the next one.

hope i made it clearer and not too heavy. i'm a bit tired. maybe i should go to sleep.
night...
love
xx
i

[michali]

Hope you had a good night sleep, iris, one could not have notice that you were tired.
I guess the reasin that Kat is so reluctent to use labels is that we notice them as such mainky when they are hurtful, but as irus beautifally examlified, we use labels to make assumptions all the time.

And it is time for the morning 'Doctors' session....(iris, what have you done to me?)