Post by Katrina on Sept 25, 2005 21:14:00 GMT 1
It’s really amazing our house hasn’t been flooded by the amount of tears shed in it over the past couple of years. My mum cries so much, nothing that happens to her seems to be good well apart from the birth of me and my little sister but that was a long time ago, now her life seems to be filled with tears.
First of all, my daddy died but I don’t really like to talk about it. But I guess I should. I cried so much when it happened but now, the tears have run dry but I think about him all the time. That sounds awful doesn’t it ‘the tears have run dry’ but it’s true. When it happened I doubted I’d ever stop crying but now I don’t want to think about when he died, I want to think about all the good times we had together. I think mum tries to do that same but I’m not sure. Right now, she seems sort of unreachable.
Now after Daddy, it seemed strange to think mum would ever find look again, there was a colleague of hers, Marc, but that didn’t work out and I’m not sure what happened to him, I guess I don’t really want to ask mum in case it upsets her more.
Then came Jack and d’you something I actually thought that something was going to go right. But then his ex-wife, Ria, turned up. And then boy did the trouble start but to cut a long story short, she burnt down my mum’s place of work while my mum was in the building with Jack and two other people, who I can’t remember the names of, but any way. After a lot of aggro, it was found out that Ria did it and she killed herself along with Jack who was by this time engaged to my mum.
Confused? Even I am. After Jack died well Mum became a little bit obsessed with shopping, oh who am I kidding, she was totally obsessed and it took Sarah, a friend and colleague of Mums, to work out what was really going on. Mum was depressed. And it wasn’t just a little depressed. She got drunk at parties; I hated it when she did that. She was so loud, and it terrified Claire.
Then one night when I was out, Sarah came round and it all came out. Me and Claire were shipped off to stay with our auntie Louise, while mum was in some sort of clinic. For those few weeks, I spent all my time reassuring Claire. Every night she’d cry, thinking mum wouldn’t come back because dad never came back. So I stayed in her room at night, cuddling her and reassuring her until she fell asleep.
And then mum came out of the clinic and me and Claire got to go home. Mum still cried at night but somehow that didn’t seem too bad. I still cuddled Claire until she dropped off but I no longer had to worry that tomorrow I’d find out mum had died because she was home and I could watch over her. Every night after I’d got Claire of to sleep, I’d creep in to mum’s room and check on her. sometimes if she was in a really deep sleep or just really curled up, I’d have to walk right to the bed, just so I could be certain that she was breathing, when I knew she was, I could go back to my own room, but I never went straight to sleep, I did my homework and then I went to sleep. Most nights I’d only get 5 or 6 hours, before I’d have to wake Claire. I never woke mum because she needed sleep. The less time she spent awake, the less time she’d have to think about Jack, of course she could dream about him but some how I don’t think she ever did. So I’d wake up Claire, and get her and myself ready for school. Then we’d go downstairs and I’d make breakfast usually just toast or cereal, but Claire never moaned, I guess in her own way she understood what was going on. Then when the clock struck 8:30 they’d be the sound of a horn beeping outside, some mornings it’d be Auntie Louise and some it’d be the mum of a friend of ours. I’d dash up the stairs and wake mum and then run down again, grab mine and Claire’s bags, and coats if the weather was bad, and then get us both out the door and in to the waiting car.
For weeks this was our routine and then mum started becoming more like mum again. She wasn’t completely back to normal, she was still quiet but then again I doubt she’ll ever be the same again. How can she be? She’s lost two men in less than five years but she still has me and Claire. I guess in away she’s a little worried that she’ll lose us to, she’s lost everyone else she loves.
Now mum’s back at work again, because Ria burned down the last place the surgery has moved. So it’s sort of like a fresh start for her. But there’s this new doctor there Jimmi, and he’s got like every female at the surgery in a tizzy. Although to be honest I don’t see what all the fuss is about and I hope mum forgets what it’s about to. Because although I’d like her to find happiness with another man, she hasn’t got the best track record, maybe In a few years time but for now I hope I stay the only man in her life because right now I don’t think she could handle another and to be honest I don’t think I could either and poor Claire, she’s seen countless men come and go. I don’t really want to know what that’s doing to her, but it can’t be anything good, I mean I’m the only man who’s been around all her life! It must be really strange for her; she must think relationships involve falling in love and then losing your loved one to tragic circumstances. As for me, I’m not sure about relationships, going by my mum’s I don’t think I have a chance, I mean I’m the man. And all her men have either died or gone off doesn’t hold out much hope does it?
For now, I’m happy enough with my family. My mum is getting better, Claire’s happier and so am I. although being the man of the house is hard but for now, that’s just how I want things to be, just me, mum and Claire – no men, no heartbreak and no unnecessary shopping.
First of all, my daddy died but I don’t really like to talk about it. But I guess I should. I cried so much when it happened but now, the tears have run dry but I think about him all the time. That sounds awful doesn’t it ‘the tears have run dry’ but it’s true. When it happened I doubted I’d ever stop crying but now I don’t want to think about when he died, I want to think about all the good times we had together. I think mum tries to do that same but I’m not sure. Right now, she seems sort of unreachable.
Now after Daddy, it seemed strange to think mum would ever find look again, there was a colleague of hers, Marc, but that didn’t work out and I’m not sure what happened to him, I guess I don’t really want to ask mum in case it upsets her more.
Then came Jack and d’you something I actually thought that something was going to go right. But then his ex-wife, Ria, turned up. And then boy did the trouble start but to cut a long story short, she burnt down my mum’s place of work while my mum was in the building with Jack and two other people, who I can’t remember the names of, but any way. After a lot of aggro, it was found out that Ria did it and she killed herself along with Jack who was by this time engaged to my mum.
Confused? Even I am. After Jack died well Mum became a little bit obsessed with shopping, oh who am I kidding, she was totally obsessed and it took Sarah, a friend and colleague of Mums, to work out what was really going on. Mum was depressed. And it wasn’t just a little depressed. She got drunk at parties; I hated it when she did that. She was so loud, and it terrified Claire.
Then one night when I was out, Sarah came round and it all came out. Me and Claire were shipped off to stay with our auntie Louise, while mum was in some sort of clinic. For those few weeks, I spent all my time reassuring Claire. Every night she’d cry, thinking mum wouldn’t come back because dad never came back. So I stayed in her room at night, cuddling her and reassuring her until she fell asleep.
And then mum came out of the clinic and me and Claire got to go home. Mum still cried at night but somehow that didn’t seem too bad. I still cuddled Claire until she dropped off but I no longer had to worry that tomorrow I’d find out mum had died because she was home and I could watch over her. Every night after I’d got Claire of to sleep, I’d creep in to mum’s room and check on her. sometimes if she was in a really deep sleep or just really curled up, I’d have to walk right to the bed, just so I could be certain that she was breathing, when I knew she was, I could go back to my own room, but I never went straight to sleep, I did my homework and then I went to sleep. Most nights I’d only get 5 or 6 hours, before I’d have to wake Claire. I never woke mum because she needed sleep. The less time she spent awake, the less time she’d have to think about Jack, of course she could dream about him but some how I don’t think she ever did. So I’d wake up Claire, and get her and myself ready for school. Then we’d go downstairs and I’d make breakfast usually just toast or cereal, but Claire never moaned, I guess in her own way she understood what was going on. Then when the clock struck 8:30 they’d be the sound of a horn beeping outside, some mornings it’d be Auntie Louise and some it’d be the mum of a friend of ours. I’d dash up the stairs and wake mum and then run down again, grab mine and Claire’s bags, and coats if the weather was bad, and then get us both out the door and in to the waiting car.
For weeks this was our routine and then mum started becoming more like mum again. She wasn’t completely back to normal, she was still quiet but then again I doubt she’ll ever be the same again. How can she be? She’s lost two men in less than five years but she still has me and Claire. I guess in away she’s a little worried that she’ll lose us to, she’s lost everyone else she loves.
Now mum’s back at work again, because Ria burned down the last place the surgery has moved. So it’s sort of like a fresh start for her. But there’s this new doctor there Jimmi, and he’s got like every female at the surgery in a tizzy. Although to be honest I don’t see what all the fuss is about and I hope mum forgets what it’s about to. Because although I’d like her to find happiness with another man, she hasn’t got the best track record, maybe In a few years time but for now I hope I stay the only man in her life because right now I don’t think she could handle another and to be honest I don’t think I could either and poor Claire, she’s seen countless men come and go. I don’t really want to know what that’s doing to her, but it can’t be anything good, I mean I’m the only man who’s been around all her life! It must be really strange for her; she must think relationships involve falling in love and then losing your loved one to tragic circumstances. As for me, I’m not sure about relationships, going by my mum’s I don’t think I have a chance, I mean I’m the man. And all her men have either died or gone off doesn’t hold out much hope does it?
For now, I’m happy enough with my family. My mum is getting better, Claire’s happier and so am I. although being the man of the house is hard but for now, that’s just how I want things to be, just me, mum and Claire – no men, no heartbreak and no unnecessary shopping.