Post by lagunagander on Jul 20, 2007 11:34:41 GMT 1
The affair that never was
“Wake up, please Nick,” she pleaded. “Wake up.” George exhausted, placed her arms on the bed in front of her and laid her head on them. Nick still hadn’t come round and he was so pale. George’s hair, usually shiny, was matted at the back and there were traces of blood in it. Her face was streaked with make up and she had several stitches and gashes to her face. Since she’d seen the hospital staff she’d spent all her time with Nick. She lifted her head.
“Nick, it’s me George. Remember, you were telling me how much you care about me. I care about you too Nick and I want you to wake up. I’d give anything for you to speak to me again. I’m so sorry that I caused the crash. I want you to know that I blame myself and if you get better, we can spend as much time as you like together. Please Nick, wake up.” She rocked backwards and forwards, gazing at him and willing him to come round. She tried to stifle her sobs by putting her hand over her mouth. She took his hand in both of hers and stroked it.
“I remember what you said Nick. I’ll be with you as long as you want. Just wake up and I’ll prove it to you how much I care.” She put his hand to her lips and pressed it against them, longing for him to open his eyes. They remained closed and she stifled a sob and started weeping quietly. Slowly Nick began to stir and George stared at him intently. “Nick?” His eyes flickered and opened slowly. He blinked at the bright light.
“George.” He smiled and reached out to her. “I knew you’d be here for me. I thought I was dreaming but then I heard your voice. I always knew you felt the same about me as I do you.”
“I……,” George faltered, looking stricken. “Nick, “she began.
Nick spoke slowly and hesitantly. “There’s no need for you to say anything more. Your voice just then… and hey! I could tell by the look in your eyes just before the crash. I know you were trying to deny it, but I could tell. I felt something good between us that day I came to your house to put up the Wendy house.”
George was so relieved that he was awake and coherent, that she was barely listening to him. “I’m so glad you’re ok,” she said. She pressed the bell for a nurse then hugged him, holding his hand as he continued,
“I never thought I’d ever find someone that I feel this much for. I’ve been out with plenty of other people, but nothing like this. I always thought that there was no chance for me with you, ‘cos you and Ronnie seemed so together.” He paused. “Do you know, I think this accident has happened for a reason. I guess it happened to get us together finally.”
She pressed her lips together and shook her head. “Nick please, don’t go on,” begged George. “You know I love Ronnie.”
“Yes, but I know that nothing is going to come between us now.”
A nurse entered the room. “Your husband’s here,” she said to George. George relieved, let go of Nick’s hand. “I won’t be a minute.
“Ronnie!” Ronnie looked startled at the sight of George. “Oh George, your face! Are you ok? How’s Nick? What happened” He reached out to her, but she turned to look back into Nick’s room.
“Not good,” she said and began to cry. “It’s all my fault.”
“What happened?” asked Ronnie again. “I got here as soon as I could.”
“He’d drunk too much, so I offered to drive him home,” said George, looking tearfully at Ronnie. “I’d only had one glass of wine. He was talking and….” she trailed off. “The next thing I knew we were in here and it’s all my fault.” She ended with a wail.
“George pull yourself together. This isn’t like you. You’re usually so calm.” He got hold of her by the shoulders. “Take a deep breath and calm down.” She rested her head against him, glad to feel the familiar feeling of security and comfort. She took a deep breath and buried her face in his jacket. Then suddenly she moved. “I have to go back to Nick,” she said, turning away. “He needs me.”
“We need you. Me and Bracken,” said Ronnie. “Nick will be taken care of in here.” He suddenly looked puzzled. “How did you manage to see him anyway?” he asked. “I tried and they said it was family only.”
“I told them I was his girlfriend,” George said looking up at Ronnie, her face streaked with tears.
“No wonder they looked at me in funny way when I said I was your husband,” replied Ronnie lightheartedly,” He smiled, but George appeared not to have heard. She pulled away and made to go back into the room.
“Nick needs me,” she said and disappeared.
“When will you be home?” Ronnie called after her, trailing off as she disappeared. He muttered to himself. “We need you as well and yes Bracken is fine. Mrs. Jarvis from over the road is looking after her. That’s if you’re interested,” he added to himself under his breath walking back along the hospital corridor that led towards the car park.
*********************************
“You’re not going back again are you?” said Ronnie in exasperation. “You’ve been twice today already.”
“I promised Nick I would,” replied George stubbornly.
“Don’t you think you’ve given him enough support already?” Ronnie began.
“He could be paralysed,” snapped George, “and if he is it will be my fault!”
Ronnie softened. “I know you’re hurting,” he said gently. “But you’ll make yourself ill as well if you carry on this way. He’s getting the best help and support that’s possible in the hospital. Meanwhile”… he took hold of her and looked into her eyes. “…Meanwhile, the people who love you most want you to spend time with them.”
George pulled away from him. “I’ll see you later,” she said picking up her car keys.
“What about Bracken?” he called out after her. “She was upset last night and wanted you to tell her a story.”
“That’s blackmail,” she snapped, not looking at him. She walked out of the kitchen door and he heard her slam the car door and drive away.
*******************************
George took a deep breath, knocked quietly on Nick’s door, fixed a smile on her face, and then entered.
“Hiya,” she greeted him cheerfully. “How are you feeling now?”
His eyes lit up when he saw it was her. “Hi, Gorgeous. I’m all the better for seeing you. How’s my favourite girl? I thought you weren’t coming. I’ve been waiting for you for ages.”
“Well, you know it’s difficult what with Ronnie and all.”
“Have you told him how you feel yet?” Nick asked her hopefully. “About us, I mean.”
She sat in the chair next to his bed and he held out his hand to her.
“Er.. no, not yet.” She replied. She held his hand and he looked into her eyes.
“Do you like poetry George?” Nick said, raising his eyebrows.
“What sort of poetry?” She spoke quickly to hide her nervousness. “I have vague recollections of someone knocking on a moonlit door somewhere,” she said thinking hard. She frowned. “Actually, to be honest, my knowledge of poetry is fairly limited. I remember studying war poems at school and one comes to mind where two dead soldiers on opposing sides met in hell -Wilfred Owen, I think that was. Then there was my first boyfriend from the Youth Club.” She smiled to herself. “When he broke my heart, I borrowed a book from the library on quotations….” She looked at Nick. “I pored over the chapter on love and managed to find several relevant pieces to fit my mood. I think it went something like this….” She deliberated and looking up at the ceiling, recited dramatically;
‘It is better to have loved and lost’….
’Than never to have loved at all, ’ finished Nick. They both laughed.
“And,” George continued,
“Come live with me, and be my love;
And we will all the pleasures prove.”
“Then in my hippy phase I actually read poetry for fun and loved John Donne –you know, metaphysical stuff and my favourite one of his, which I can recite some of I think, goes:
‘I wonder by my troth, what thou and I
Did, till we loved?.....’”
She trailed off as she realized she’d inadvertently chosen something appropriate (or not) to the situation.
Nick was amused. “Well I’ve written a poem for you,” he said softly. “Or rather it will be a song when someone brings in my guitar. I can’t play it to you now, but I can sing it. Do you want to hear it? I’m warning you though, it’s a simple song written by a simple man. It’s called ‘Someone Like You.’” He smiled.
George had mixed emotions and wished she was somewhere else. “Let’s hear it then,” she said cheerfully, trying to lighten the mood. She leaned forward to listen and Nick took both of her hands in his, gazed into her eyes and began to sing quietly to her;
I’ve shared my life along the way
But always knew there’d be a day
That special girl would come along
And when she did I’d sing this song;
I’ve looked through crowds at all the blurred faces,
I’ve searched my dreams and memories too.
I’ve looked around in all the wrong places,
Searching and praying for someone like you.
Our lives ‘til now we’ve spent apart,
But from now on you’re in my heart.
Every day our lives entwined-
Shared hopes and dreams, one love in kind.
I’ve looked through crowds at all the blurred faces.
I’ve searched my dreams and memories too.
I’ve looked around in all the wrong places,
Searching and praying for someone like you.
An empty life, with words unspoken.
Wasted dreams and promises broken.
Now you’re here, those days are gone
I’ll never have to be alone.
I’ve looked through crowds at all the blurred faces.
I’ve searched my dreams and memories too.
I’ve looked around in all the wrong places,
Searching and praying for someone like you.
But always knew there’d be a day
That special girl would come along
And when she did I’d sing this song;
I’ve looked through crowds at all the blurred faces,
I’ve searched my dreams and memories too.
I’ve looked around in all the wrong places,
Searching and praying for someone like you.
Our lives ‘til now we’ve spent apart,
But from now on you’re in my heart.
Every day our lives entwined-
Shared hopes and dreams, one love in kind.
I’ve looked through crowds at all the blurred faces.
I’ve searched my dreams and memories too.
I’ve looked around in all the wrong places,
Searching and praying for someone like you.
An empty life, with words unspoken.
Wasted dreams and promises broken.
Now you’re here, those days are gone
I’ll never have to be alone.
I’ve looked through crowds at all the blurred faces.
I’ve searched my dreams and memories too.
I’ve looked around in all the wrong places,
Searching and praying for someone like you.
A wave of emotion consumed George as she looked Nick. The thought that this sensitive, gentle, talented man might never practice as a GP again and never realize his ambitions was almost too much for George to cope with. Tears welled up in her eyes and she blinked hard. She felt so guilty about the accident.
“Nick, that was great. You’re so talented, you should sing for a living.”
“Glad you liked it.” He leaned forward. “Come here and kiss me,” he said.
George hesitated. “Nick, I don’t feel right about this,” she began, but he pulled her to him and kissed her. The door opened and Julia entered.
“Oh sorry,” she began as she saw George and Nick jump apart guiltily. Then, “Am I missing something here?” she asked. George embarrassed, bit her lip and looked down.
Nick replied, “Sorry Julia. You can be the first to know. We were going to keep it quiet until we’d told Ronnie and Gabby, but…” He looked at George confidently.
“George and I – well, we’ve realized we’ve got something good between us.”
George looked at Julia with pleading in her eyes.
“Is this true George?”
George looked away, avoiding Julia’s gaze. “Yes, yes it is true.” She looked at Nick.
“Yes we want to be together.”
Julia was speechless and sat down next to the bed opposite George. “How long has this been going on?” she asked, “or have I been blind to it for a while?”
“It’s…. it’s very recent,” said George. “We’ve er… just realized how we feel about each other.” She looked away.
“And what do you intend to do about it?” asked Julia.
“Nothing yet,” said Nick. “We’re going to see how things turn out and when I get out of here we’ll take it from there.”
Julia was horrified. The conversation was stilted between the three of them and Julia felt very embarrassed. Eventually she made her apologies, saying she had another appointment. George got up to follow her in the pretence of going for a drink from the coffee machine. They walked along the corridor and when they were far enough away from Nick’s room, Julia turned on George angrily.
“What’s this about George? What are you playing at? Do you really expect me to believe that you and Nick have something going together? I’ve never met another couple so well suited and in love as you and Ronnie. And what about Bracken? Have you thought of her in all this? Trust me, I’ve been there twice and it’s not a nice thing to happen even if you’re not the recipient.”
“I don’t want it to happen,” said George miserably, her head bowed. “I don’t want Nick at all. There’s no way I’d ever leave Ronnie or Bracken.” One lone tear rolled down her cheek.
“Then what the hell are you playing at?” demanded Julia.
George looked at her. “That night…. that night in the bar… Nick was messing about and said he’d always fancied me and I knew, or thought I knew that it was the beer talking. That’s why I offered to drive him home because he was so drunk and I’d only had one glass of wine. Then when we were on the way home”… she tailed off and looked at the wall. She bit her lip again and looked back at Julia. “He said he’d meant it and well, I was distracted and then it happened! The next thing I knew we were in here.”
She started sobbing and Julia looked up and down the corridor. She pulled George into an empty side bay. “Well that’s no excuse to go along with him now,” hissed Julia. “Believe me George you’re making things worse by going along with it. Do you really think allowing Nick to believe this surreal fantasy of his is going to help him? What do you think he’s going to feel like when you bring him back to reality? You can’t allow him to continue to believe you care for him in that way. You owe it to him to tell him the truth.”
“But he’s suffering enough and this will make it worse.” George wailed.
“Not in the long run, it won’t,” replied Julia firmly. “Now you go and say goodbye to Nick, -then go home to your family and tell Ronnie what you’ve told me. He’ll sort things out.” She looked at George and shook her head. She put her arm on George’s and added kindly, “You know you are silly sometimes, George. Stop worrying and stop blaming yourself.”
******************
George, staring up at the ceiling laid still, her eyes wide. Ronnie turned towards her and put his arm over her, but she didn’t move. He rested on one elbow and smoothed her hair across the pillow. “When are you going to talk to me?” he asked tenderly. “I know it’s more than just the crash and I can’t help you if you don’t tell me what’s wrong.”
She pressed her lips together and tears welled up in her eyes. She turned to him in the semi darkness.
“It’s Nick. He thinks he’s in love with me. And I’ve been pretending the same because I don’t want to hurt him. I’ve hurt him enough.” She began sobbing loudly and Ronnie held her in his arms.
“Sshh, you’ll wake Bracken,” he murmured, pressing his lips against her forehead. “What’s Nick said?”
“That he’s loved me since he first met me and recently his feelings have intensified and that’s why we crashed,” she cried. “That’s what he was talking to me about. I was distracted and I’d been drinking as well.” She wailed.
“So what have you being saying to him?” asked Ronnie distressed to see her so upset. She told him amid broken sobs.
“I’ll go and see him tomorrow. Don’t worry.” He wiped away her tears and put his arms round her, holding her close until her sobs subsided and he knew she’d fallen asleep.
*****************************
Nick’s Hospital Room.
“……and I more than anyone, know how it feels to love George,” finished Ronnie. He looked out of the window and said absently, “She drives me to distraction most of the time, but I couldn’t live without her.” He looked down at his hands and then at Nick.
“I’m sorry mate. I don’t know what came over me. I think she’s gorgeous and you’re a really lucky man. Truth be known, I think she’s too much for me to handle, in the nicest possible way of course. I’m just not in her league.” He laughed and Ronnie laughed with him. “Tell her my good news will you? -That I’m going to be ok and there’s no need for her to keep visiting. Maybe you’ll both come out for a drink with me and Gabby when I get out of here?”
“Sounds good,” nodded Ronnie
“I’ll get Gabby to sort something out,” said Nick. “No hard feelings?” he asked, holding his hand out to Ronnie.
“No hard feelings.” They shook hands and Ronnie stood up. “Right I’ll be off then,” he said hesitantly.
“Ok. “Thanks and thanks for coming. Sorry again about everything. Tell George not to worry.” Nick reached out for his glass of water and knocked it over, spilling it. Ronnie grabbed a tissue and started mopping it up. He picked up a sheet of paper that was dripping wet. It was Nick’s song for George.
“I hope this wasn’t important,” said Ronnie, trying to soak up the water.
“No, no it’s nothing,” replied Nick. “Forget it.”
Ronnie nodded. “See you.”
The door closed and Nick turned to face the wall. He took a deep breath and his vision blurred as a solitary tear ran down his face.