Post by Katrina on Jan 16, 2008 19:37:32 GMT 1
I haven't post a fic on here in ages and I'm not really sure about this one So i really hope it's ok. I'm not sure if it's anything more than a one parter.
“Ronnie, please” My mother pleads. Her eyes are glistening with tears waiting to be shed, her cheeks stained with mascara which has ran. I hate seeing the desperation in her expression. My mother used to be one of the happiest people I knew, not that I know many people but anyway, she may be clumsy, forgetful and ditzy but she’s kind, caring and always there with a smile whenever you’re hurt. At least she was until recently.
“Don’t George, don’t” my father replies. His words laced with anger and hurt. He too looks as if he is about to cry but I know he won’t. He’ll force himself to be strong until he is alone because that is just the kind of person he is.
“I didn’t mean for it to happen” my mother has to force the words out between sobs. Her entire body is shaking. I have never seen her or my father like this before. I hope that I never do again. My father spins round to face her. He looks so angry it is scary. His eyes flash with rage. I push myself further back against the confines of my playpen.
“You slept with my best friend” my father says the words quietly and yet they are so forceful my mother literally moves backwards as if they have wounded her. She looks down at the floor. An admission of guilt.
“I didn’t mean to” She repeats. Her voice shakes. She reaches out to the chair by her side to steady herself. I worry that she will fall to the ground, her body unable to support itself due to the violence of her shaking. Her face, or what I can see of it, is blotchy red.
“How can you not mean to?” My father asks, he studies her. His eyes searching every inch of her face for an answer, for the truth. His expression is filled with pain and hurt. He is still angry you can see it in his eyes but it’s an angry that come from something so terrible he isn’t sure of what to do and so he has gone to a basic emotion – rage.
“It just happened. I don’t know how” She raises her face to look at him, the tears still falling fast down her cheeks, so similar to the rain which is sliding down the window.
“Have I done something? Have I made you unhappy?” My father questions. He looks away from her for a moment, catching sight of me huddled in the corner of my playpen clutching my teletubby doll which they gave me for Christmas. He frowns and turns from me.
“You’re perfect” She answers, sounding sure of herself for the first time. My father laughs – a bitter laugh. My mother frowns at him, raising a shaking hand towards him.
“If I’m so perfect, why the hell did you sleep with another man?” My father’s voice rises with each word. He looks at my mother’s extended hand before looking back at her face. He shakes his head.
“I was drunk. It didn’t mean anything” My mother’s sobs become louder, more desperate. She withdraws her hand and folds her arms across herself as if holding herself together. She looks up at him wetly, her eyes pleading with him silently. “He was talking about the accident. All the things he’d lost. And it was all my fault” Before my eyes she breaks completely. She slips down to the floor. Her eyes never once leaving his face.
“You slept with another man George” My father says stepping closer to her. “You slept with my best friend. You let us go out together even when you knew what happened” A look passes across my father’s face, he freezes.
“Ronnie?” My mother asks, her voice filled with worry. She obviously recognizes this look. She knows it from someone. Maybe she’s seen it on her own face in the mirror.
“You knew he had feelings for you” My father spits the words. The pain in his voice rips at my heart. I feel tears fill my own eyes. “You knew and you still went to him, got drunk with him. Admit it George, you knew it would happen”
“I didn’t. I wouldn’t cheat on you. I couldn’t cheat on you” My mother speaks so quietly and from the look on her face regrets the words the instant they slip from her lips. My father’s mouth twists.
“You wouldn’t cheat on me?” my father repeats, looking at her in a way that I have never seen before. He looks down at her. His own body shaking “That’s what you did George. You slept with another man. You gave yourself to another man – for what? Because you felt guilty. I feel guilty for losing cases, but I don’t sleep with my client. Do you even love him?” My father asks.
“No” My mother answers, her voice ragged. Once again my father laughs bitterly. Turning away from her.
“I suppose that should make me feel better” He says, his eyes scanning the room. Looking at all of the photographs of us as a family. “Hell George, you made love to a man you don’t love. You have sympathy sex because of an accident which wasn’t even your fault. There was a fox, unless you lied to me about that”
“I’m sorry” My mother whispers. Her voice is so weak, it barely makes a sound. My father half smiles, half frowns turning back towards her.
“That’s not enough George not this time” He says. The sound of his voice, it causes something within me. I begin to cry. The tears streaming down my face. I can feel my face turning red. My father turns towards me “because it’s not just me you’ve hurt” He comes over to the playpen and in one movement lifts me out, holding me close to his body. I can also smell his anger.
“Ronnie” My mother says his name so quietly, so softly. He looks at her, holding me in his arms so that I can see her as well.
“Look what you’ve caused George. Look at me. Look at our daughter” He shifts my position in his arms. My mother looks up at him before turning her attention to me. I can see her heart breaking before her eyes. “I’m not going to let her get hurt” he places a kiss on the top of my head and turns to the door. He starts to walk towards it. I twist my head as we go to get a look at my mother. Her tears are falling fast and she makes no attempt to wipe them away. She rocks back and forward on her place on the floor. She pleads with my father not to walk out. I turn to look at him. He too is crying. Tears fall freely down his cheek, falling on to the top of my head. He holds me tightly to him carrying me out of the door. As the door closely I hear my mothers desperate cry of ‘No’ from within the house.
“Ronnie, please” My mother pleads. Her eyes are glistening with tears waiting to be shed, her cheeks stained with mascara which has ran. I hate seeing the desperation in her expression. My mother used to be one of the happiest people I knew, not that I know many people but anyway, she may be clumsy, forgetful and ditzy but she’s kind, caring and always there with a smile whenever you’re hurt. At least she was until recently.
“Don’t George, don’t” my father replies. His words laced with anger and hurt. He too looks as if he is about to cry but I know he won’t. He’ll force himself to be strong until he is alone because that is just the kind of person he is.
“I didn’t mean for it to happen” my mother has to force the words out between sobs. Her entire body is shaking. I have never seen her or my father like this before. I hope that I never do again. My father spins round to face her. He looks so angry it is scary. His eyes flash with rage. I push myself further back against the confines of my playpen.
“You slept with my best friend” my father says the words quietly and yet they are so forceful my mother literally moves backwards as if they have wounded her. She looks down at the floor. An admission of guilt.
“I didn’t mean to” She repeats. Her voice shakes. She reaches out to the chair by her side to steady herself. I worry that she will fall to the ground, her body unable to support itself due to the violence of her shaking. Her face, or what I can see of it, is blotchy red.
“How can you not mean to?” My father asks, he studies her. His eyes searching every inch of her face for an answer, for the truth. His expression is filled with pain and hurt. He is still angry you can see it in his eyes but it’s an angry that come from something so terrible he isn’t sure of what to do and so he has gone to a basic emotion – rage.
“It just happened. I don’t know how” She raises her face to look at him, the tears still falling fast down her cheeks, so similar to the rain which is sliding down the window.
“Have I done something? Have I made you unhappy?” My father questions. He looks away from her for a moment, catching sight of me huddled in the corner of my playpen clutching my teletubby doll which they gave me for Christmas. He frowns and turns from me.
“You’re perfect” She answers, sounding sure of herself for the first time. My father laughs – a bitter laugh. My mother frowns at him, raising a shaking hand towards him.
“If I’m so perfect, why the hell did you sleep with another man?” My father’s voice rises with each word. He looks at my mother’s extended hand before looking back at her face. He shakes his head.
“I was drunk. It didn’t mean anything” My mother’s sobs become louder, more desperate. She withdraws her hand and folds her arms across herself as if holding herself together. She looks up at him wetly, her eyes pleading with him silently. “He was talking about the accident. All the things he’d lost. And it was all my fault” Before my eyes she breaks completely. She slips down to the floor. Her eyes never once leaving his face.
“You slept with another man George” My father says stepping closer to her. “You slept with my best friend. You let us go out together even when you knew what happened” A look passes across my father’s face, he freezes.
“Ronnie?” My mother asks, her voice filled with worry. She obviously recognizes this look. She knows it from someone. Maybe she’s seen it on her own face in the mirror.
“You knew he had feelings for you” My father spits the words. The pain in his voice rips at my heart. I feel tears fill my own eyes. “You knew and you still went to him, got drunk with him. Admit it George, you knew it would happen”
“I didn’t. I wouldn’t cheat on you. I couldn’t cheat on you” My mother speaks so quietly and from the look on her face regrets the words the instant they slip from her lips. My father’s mouth twists.
“You wouldn’t cheat on me?” my father repeats, looking at her in a way that I have never seen before. He looks down at her. His own body shaking “That’s what you did George. You slept with another man. You gave yourself to another man – for what? Because you felt guilty. I feel guilty for losing cases, but I don’t sleep with my client. Do you even love him?” My father asks.
“No” My mother answers, her voice ragged. Once again my father laughs bitterly. Turning away from her.
“I suppose that should make me feel better” He says, his eyes scanning the room. Looking at all of the photographs of us as a family. “Hell George, you made love to a man you don’t love. You have sympathy sex because of an accident which wasn’t even your fault. There was a fox, unless you lied to me about that”
“I’m sorry” My mother whispers. Her voice is so weak, it barely makes a sound. My father half smiles, half frowns turning back towards her.
“That’s not enough George not this time” He says. The sound of his voice, it causes something within me. I begin to cry. The tears streaming down my face. I can feel my face turning red. My father turns towards me “because it’s not just me you’ve hurt” He comes over to the playpen and in one movement lifts me out, holding me close to his body. I can also smell his anger.
“Ronnie” My mother says his name so quietly, so softly. He looks at her, holding me in his arms so that I can see her as well.
“Look what you’ve caused George. Look at me. Look at our daughter” He shifts my position in his arms. My mother looks up at him before turning her attention to me. I can see her heart breaking before her eyes. “I’m not going to let her get hurt” he places a kiss on the top of my head and turns to the door. He starts to walk towards it. I twist my head as we go to get a look at my mother. Her tears are falling fast and she makes no attempt to wipe them away. She rocks back and forward on her place on the floor. She pleads with my father not to walk out. I turn to look at him. He too is crying. Tears fall freely down his cheek, falling on to the top of my head. He holds me tightly to him carrying me out of the door. As the door closely I hear my mothers desperate cry of ‘No’ from within the house.