Post by iris on Feb 9, 2006 13:09:04 GMT 1
hi there everybody.
this is a new thing i'm trying here: a harry potter fanfic, written by a friend, translated by yours truly.
Disclaimer: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.
i'll let the author introduce herself,
hope you enjoy it,
love
xxx
i
Usually I used to lurk around the HP community. But now... Mowhahahahaha. I'm Eleanor from Israel. I'm the manager of an Israeli fanfiction community and a fanfics writer myself. Only I write in Hebrew (Because as you can see, my English isn't that good). A few days ago, a friend suggested to translate one of my fics into english and I decided that since my friend already has a nickname here, why shoudn't I use this option and post it.
SO! For the first time in English, I present to you: "Foolish Muggle Inventions" By The Grey Lady (which is me, usually, if it wasn't already taken) and iris who did the translation. Lotsa thanks to PamA, who beta-read the English version.
Title: Foolish Muggle Inventions.
Word Count: 1273
Characters: Ron/Hermione
Rating: G
“So what did you say it was, Hermione?”
“A computer. Press this big green button down there.”
Ron pressed. The machine made an intriguing ticking sound.
Ron backed off when the come-pooper, whatever it was, played some kind of a melodic cacophony and a picture of clouds with little objects scattered all over them appeared on the screen. Hermione rolled her eyes.
She used the rat, (hamster, maybe?), to click on a shining deep blue “e” and the screen became all white (except for a blue stripe on the edge).
“What now, and would you please explain to me what this flipping thing does?”
“Look, you can do lots of things with it. At the moment, for example, I’ve just entered the internet. It’s awfully nice. And you can find so much information in here….
Shame wizards don’t know the medium, though, because then there would be wizardry sites and we could learn so much more through this channel…”
“It’s satanic. That’s what it is.”
“No it isn’t. Look, it is very useful. I can print your name here, for example, and if we’re lucky, the computer will come up with all kinds of details about you."
Ron looked contemptuous. He folded his arms in defiance.
“No way does your pomctuter know anything about me.” He finally said.
Hermione gave him a knowing smile when another white glow appeared on the screen. A colourful ‘Google’ glowed on top of the page. Underneath it there was an empty little box where Hermione typed the words ‘Ron Weasley’.
The line ‘Results 1 - 10 of about 1,210,000’ appeared above a strange list of notes and signs.
Hermione clicked on one of them.
“Look…” she said, raising her eyebrows. “…It’s about…..us… That’s weird!”
“You’re the one who’s the expert for this wicked machine. What’s so odd about it?”
“I thought, I mean, usually you find one site that’s really about you, of population entries of your county, say, or an odd school contest you’d once taken part in. All the rest are just mainly word combinations that coincidently match your name, but …I’m mentioned here too…and Harry…!”
“And what’s fa….fanfic? I mean, what are we supposed to ventilate?”
“Fanfic isn’t…. I don’t think it has to do anything with THAT kind of fans, Ron.” She mumbled.
Hermione clicked on another link, puzzled. She felt her affection for computers was growing similar to Ron’s…
She started reading while Ron peeped over her shoulder at the text.
The famkick wasn’t more than three pages long, but that was certainly enough to get the general idea.
It was about Ron and her. It was something about Christmas Eve, and one-pretty-much-empty-Gryffindor-common-room. It also included several embarrassing sentences that Hermione swore to herself she would never let slip out of her mouth. The number of times ‘Honestly, Ron’ appeared in this bizarre fancake exceeded the amount a living creature could ever manage to say it in a lifetime.
It could be summarised as ‘an argument-insult-kiss and make up’. The ending was very artistic and was definitely exaggerated in the way the passion was described.
No one has ‘the smell of flowers and rain and of a sweet, steaming cup of tea’, and no one with a human palate could ‘taste her tears, and the sweetness within them’ in a kiss. These are tears, for heaven’s sake! Tears are not sweet.
When they finished reading the colour of their cheeks resembled the Gryffindor’s flag.
“That’s….why would somebody do such a thing? And where do they all know us from…?!” Ron finally found his tongue, and while at it, added a few swear words that we choose to spare you.
Hermione opened her mouth for an answer, couldn’t find one and closed it again.
“They…are they all the same?” Ron went on when the silence following the shock became too long.
Hermione shrugged, clicked on a flickering blue arrow on the corner of the screen and chose another item from the list.
Yes, apparently, they were all the same. Only in the next one a dangerously-bold-rescue-mission was included. And yes, they kissed in the end of that one as well. This time fireworks were involved.
“They’ve really gone too far!” said Hermione finally, her blush more prominent than ever.
“Definitely!” agreed Ron wholeheartedly.
“I mean, a kiss is just a kiss. And we…didn’t….I mean, what they are writing there is just a fiction. And besides, kisses don’t taste like chocolate, unless you’ve had some chocolate before that is.” Said Hermione unwaveringly.
“How’d you know that?” interrupted Ron when Hermione got to the chocolate bit.
“Errr…errrmmmm…. Don’t you read books?
Ron looked bothered.
“And how can a kiss make you cast spells like Harry did once, without using your wand?...It can, I mean, if that had been possible our house would have exploded in a huge fire ages ago. You should see Mom and Dad on Christmas Eve…” he added, shaking his head to dismiss the thought.
Hermione shrugged again.
They both sat by the computer, staring at the screen in silence.
“No way can a kiss make one see fireworks,” said Ron, finally.
“And I definitely don’t smell like dreams, or whatever. Dreams don’t smell. And my perfume is vanilla flavour.”
“Same here. Only mine’s described as ‘boyish scent’. What’s boyish scent anyway?” quoted Ron, a disapproving expression spreading over his face.
“And you cer-tain-ly don’t hear music. Violins, drums, cello, whatever.” announced Hermione.
“I suppose…” started Ron, his ears becoming bright red. The rest of his head followed. “I mean. It could be true, couldn’t it? But we’ll never know. I mean, we’ll surely know at some point, but…I mean, I’m not suggesting that we’ll know about each other specifically, but we’d better catch somebody at some point, or it’ll be quite…”
“I believe you could have a point,” said Hermione knitting her brows, “I mean, we can’t make judgements based on what we don’t know, but you must admit that the bit about the ‘miraculous floating’ was rather ridiculous”.
“Of course.”
“But maybe…maybe a few flashes. Sparks even…”
“…Torches?” suggested Ron. “I’ll have to keep in mind to check it out if I ever get to kiss a girl…”
“Yeah, me too…”
“You don’t intend to kiss a girl, do you?”
“Don’t be daft, Ron”
She gave him a sharp look.
He eyed her back, fear in his eyes.
Her stern face softened.
Their heads moved, just a little bit, towards each other.
“Well…” said Hermione in a quiet voice, “we should…indeed…”
“Try…”concluded Ron.
They tried.
There weren’t any fireworks.
“Well,” she said when their heads returned to a distance in which their breath stopped feeling awkward, “did I smell like rain on a flourishing field?”
“Ermm… more of tomato sauce, actually. It was the bolognaise from lunch, wasn’t it?”
“Oh,” said Hermione, disappointed.
“Did you hear any flutes? He asked, blushing.
“Nope, you?”
“I think not . . .”
“Violins?”
“Thinking…” Ron tried to dig deeper for the right sense. “I may have heard a piccolo, though…”
“Oh.” She said.
“But I should have given more time to listening properly. It might just as well have been a bird outside, or similar,” he muttered.
“Do you think that we should…you know, recheck it or anything? I mean, it’s important. This way we’ll know what to expect when we kiss for real. It would be such a waste to put music on if the violins get in the way…”
“Yep.”
And they rechecked. Or something.
We can safely say we’re relieved that these certain ‘pancakes’ had made them do the checking, for the next site on their list was ‘AdultFanFiction.net’…..
this is a new thing i'm trying here: a harry potter fanfic, written by a friend, translated by yours truly.
Disclaimer: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.
i'll let the author introduce herself,
hope you enjoy it,
love
xxx
i
*****
Usually I used to lurk around the HP community. But now... Mowhahahahaha. I'm Eleanor from Israel. I'm the manager of an Israeli fanfiction community and a fanfics writer myself. Only I write in Hebrew (Because as you can see, my English isn't that good). A few days ago, a friend suggested to translate one of my fics into english and I decided that since my friend already has a nickname here, why shoudn't I use this option and post it.
SO! For the first time in English, I present to you: "Foolish Muggle Inventions" By The Grey Lady (which is me, usually, if it wasn't already taken) and iris who did the translation. Lotsa thanks to PamA, who beta-read the English version.
Title: Foolish Muggle Inventions.
Word Count: 1273
Characters: Ron/Hermione
Rating: G
Foolish Muggle Inventions
“So what did you say it was, Hermione?”
“A computer. Press this big green button down there.”
Ron pressed. The machine made an intriguing ticking sound.
Ron backed off when the come-pooper, whatever it was, played some kind of a melodic cacophony and a picture of clouds with little objects scattered all over them appeared on the screen. Hermione rolled her eyes.
She used the rat, (hamster, maybe?), to click on a shining deep blue “e” and the screen became all white (except for a blue stripe on the edge).
“What now, and would you please explain to me what this flipping thing does?”
“Look, you can do lots of things with it. At the moment, for example, I’ve just entered the internet. It’s awfully nice. And you can find so much information in here….
Shame wizards don’t know the medium, though, because then there would be wizardry sites and we could learn so much more through this channel…”
“It’s satanic. That’s what it is.”
“No it isn’t. Look, it is very useful. I can print your name here, for example, and if we’re lucky, the computer will come up with all kinds of details about you."
Ron looked contemptuous. He folded his arms in defiance.
“No way does your pomctuter know anything about me.” He finally said.
Hermione gave him a knowing smile when another white glow appeared on the screen. A colourful ‘Google’ glowed on top of the page. Underneath it there was an empty little box where Hermione typed the words ‘Ron Weasley’.
The line ‘Results 1 - 10 of about 1,210,000’ appeared above a strange list of notes and signs.
Hermione clicked on one of them.
“Look…” she said, raising her eyebrows. “…It’s about…..us… That’s weird!”
“You’re the one who’s the expert for this wicked machine. What’s so odd about it?”
“I thought, I mean, usually you find one site that’s really about you, of population entries of your county, say, or an odd school contest you’d once taken part in. All the rest are just mainly word combinations that coincidently match your name, but …I’m mentioned here too…and Harry…!”
“And what’s fa….fanfic? I mean, what are we supposed to ventilate?”
“Fanfic isn’t…. I don’t think it has to do anything with THAT kind of fans, Ron.” She mumbled.
Hermione clicked on another link, puzzled. She felt her affection for computers was growing similar to Ron’s…
She started reading while Ron peeped over her shoulder at the text.
The famkick wasn’t more than three pages long, but that was certainly enough to get the general idea.
It was about Ron and her. It was something about Christmas Eve, and one-pretty-much-empty-Gryffindor-common-room. It also included several embarrassing sentences that Hermione swore to herself she would never let slip out of her mouth. The number of times ‘Honestly, Ron’ appeared in this bizarre fancake exceeded the amount a living creature could ever manage to say it in a lifetime.
It could be summarised as ‘an argument-insult-kiss and make up’. The ending was very artistic and was definitely exaggerated in the way the passion was described.
No one has ‘the smell of flowers and rain and of a sweet, steaming cup of tea’, and no one with a human palate could ‘taste her tears, and the sweetness within them’ in a kiss. These are tears, for heaven’s sake! Tears are not sweet.
When they finished reading the colour of their cheeks resembled the Gryffindor’s flag.
“That’s….why would somebody do such a thing? And where do they all know us from…?!” Ron finally found his tongue, and while at it, added a few swear words that we choose to spare you.
Hermione opened her mouth for an answer, couldn’t find one and closed it again.
“They…are they all the same?” Ron went on when the silence following the shock became too long.
Hermione shrugged, clicked on a flickering blue arrow on the corner of the screen and chose another item from the list.
Yes, apparently, they were all the same. Only in the next one a dangerously-bold-rescue-mission was included. And yes, they kissed in the end of that one as well. This time fireworks were involved.
“They’ve really gone too far!” said Hermione finally, her blush more prominent than ever.
“Definitely!” agreed Ron wholeheartedly.
“I mean, a kiss is just a kiss. And we…didn’t….I mean, what they are writing there is just a fiction. And besides, kisses don’t taste like chocolate, unless you’ve had some chocolate before that is.” Said Hermione unwaveringly.
“How’d you know that?” interrupted Ron when Hermione got to the chocolate bit.
“Errr…errrmmmm…. Don’t you read books?
Ron looked bothered.
“And how can a kiss make you cast spells like Harry did once, without using your wand?...It can, I mean, if that had been possible our house would have exploded in a huge fire ages ago. You should see Mom and Dad on Christmas Eve…” he added, shaking his head to dismiss the thought.
Hermione shrugged again.
They both sat by the computer, staring at the screen in silence.
“No way can a kiss make one see fireworks,” said Ron, finally.
“And I definitely don’t smell like dreams, or whatever. Dreams don’t smell. And my perfume is vanilla flavour.”
“Same here. Only mine’s described as ‘boyish scent’. What’s boyish scent anyway?” quoted Ron, a disapproving expression spreading over his face.
“And you cer-tain-ly don’t hear music. Violins, drums, cello, whatever.” announced Hermione.
“I suppose…” started Ron, his ears becoming bright red. The rest of his head followed. “I mean. It could be true, couldn’t it? But we’ll never know. I mean, we’ll surely know at some point, but…I mean, I’m not suggesting that we’ll know about each other specifically, but we’d better catch somebody at some point, or it’ll be quite…”
“I believe you could have a point,” said Hermione knitting her brows, “I mean, we can’t make judgements based on what we don’t know, but you must admit that the bit about the ‘miraculous floating’ was rather ridiculous”.
“Of course.”
“But maybe…maybe a few flashes. Sparks even…”
“…Torches?” suggested Ron. “I’ll have to keep in mind to check it out if I ever get to kiss a girl…”
“Yeah, me too…”
“You don’t intend to kiss a girl, do you?”
“Don’t be daft, Ron”
She gave him a sharp look.
He eyed her back, fear in his eyes.
Her stern face softened.
Their heads moved, just a little bit, towards each other.
“Well…” said Hermione in a quiet voice, “we should…indeed…”
“Try…”concluded Ron.
They tried.
There weren’t any fireworks.
“Well,” she said when their heads returned to a distance in which their breath stopped feeling awkward, “did I smell like rain on a flourishing field?”
“Ermm… more of tomato sauce, actually. It was the bolognaise from lunch, wasn’t it?”
“Oh,” said Hermione, disappointed.
“Did you hear any flutes? He asked, blushing.
“Nope, you?”
“I think not . . .”
“Violins?”
“Thinking…” Ron tried to dig deeper for the right sense. “I may have heard a piccolo, though…”
“Oh.” She said.
“But I should have given more time to listening properly. It might just as well have been a bird outside, or similar,” he muttered.
“Do you think that we should…you know, recheck it or anything? I mean, it’s important. This way we’ll know what to expect when we kiss for real. It would be such a waste to put music on if the violins get in the way…”
“Yep.”
And they rechecked. Or something.
We can safely say we’re relieved that these certain ‘pancakes’ had made them do the checking, for the next site on their list was ‘AdultFanFiction.net’…..
~End~