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Post by iheartdaniel on Jul 13, 2012 15:10:55 GMT 1
Zara and Daniel
After a day spent placating the elderly and listening to teenage pleas for sick notes the thought of cuddles with baby Joe made it all seem insignificant. As Zara deposited her bag on the passenger seat and pulled on her seatbelt she smiled to herself thinking of the toothless grin that spread across Joe’s face every time she returned home from work. The drive home was short, the usual roadworks and traffic seemed to have already dispersed. As Zara pulled into the driveway a little part of her sank. While half of her couldn’t wait to get inside and soak up every minute with her son before his bedtime, she was conflicted by the thought of what sniping might await her inside following the excruciating parting she and Daniel had shared as she escaped to work this morning. She began to replay in her mind how callous she had been towards Daniel’s attempts at affection some hours previous, however she was quickly distracted by the sight of Daniel standing in the bay window holding Joe and pointing at Zara. Daniel’s face had broken into a smile as he pointed Mummy out to his son, and Joe too was giggling. As she headed to the front door Zara waved back at the pair standing in the window and laughed as Joe proceeded to stuff his hand into his mouth before Daniel extracted it to allow the little boy to return her greeting. As they stood on opposite sides of the glass Zara found her self lost in this moment of family intimacy; to the outside world this would have seemed the very picture of domestic bliss. There they were: her two boys. Hers. Her gorgeous son and her strong, handsome partner. The moment was only blighted by the realisation of how significant, how special this normal family scene was to her.
***
As Daniel stood across the glass from Zara, pointing Joe’s Mummy out to him, he found himself lost in the moment. At times looking after Joe was incredibly difficult for Daniel, it wasn’t that Joe lacked routine or was a particularly irritable or needy child it was more the underlying feeling that he was unable to comfort his son that he was merely second best. It was these feeling of inadequacy that, for the life of him, Daniel was unable to shake. He despised himself for feeling like this for it meant that every moment with his son was blighted by unhappiness and the inability to enjoy these precious moments in Joe’s life. While Daniel knew that it was not Zara’s fault he felt so detached her cold behaviour towards him and constant sniping only seemed to exacerbate the situation. A combination of Zara’s need to retain control over every facet of Joe’s being and care and Daniel’s deep unease with fatherhood was crippling the young family. But for a moment this had all ebbed away. Joe’s giggles filled the room and Zara beamed as she stood on the driveway waving back at Daniel and Joe. As Zara turned to enter the house Daniel felt a pang of guilt at the lies he was about to tell her.
***
‘Hello Mummy!’ Daniel found himself saying as he carried the squirming baby into the hallway to greet Zara.
‘Well hello gorgeous! Have you had a nice day with Daddy?’ Zara placed her bags down beside the stairs before placing her hand on the banister as she removed her heels.
Daniel headed for the kitchen ‘he’s not eaten yet as we got held up at the pool, do-’ but before he could finish Zara had jumped in, grabbing his arm.
‘Daniel,’ she began as he turned to face her, ‘I’m sorry about this morning. Sometimes I just find myself being so horribly cruel. I just….I… well I’m sorry for being such a bitch, you certainly didn’t deserve it.’ Zara’s eyes were glossy with tears as she thought back to the callous scene in this very room some hours prior. Once she was done she loosened her grip and felt Daniel place his hand on the small of her back drawing her in to his chest. She closed her eyes and snuggled into the warmth as he kissed her hair.
‘I’m sorry too.’ Zara remained with her head buried in his chest for what felt like an eternity until Joe let out a little yelp.
‘Sorry little man’ she said as they broke away, ‘let’s get you fed.’ And with that the family sat down for dinner together.
***
Zara was upstairs putting Joe down to sleep in his moses basket, Daniel heard her chatting away to him in hushed tones as the light projector chirped a lullaby faintly in the background. As he stacked the plates and glasses in the dishwasher Daniel was having second thoughts. It had been a somewhat blissful evening with Zara with no crosswords and, perhaps what was most striking, it didn’t feel awkward or forced, rather they were like the Daniel and Zara of old, natural in each others company. He was contemplating texting Cherry to call off the whole thing when Zara re-entered the kitchen, flicking in the kettle as she did. ‘So no news on Jimmi, this whole thing is getting a little worrying.’
‘No, nothing. I’m getting worried about him, it’s not like Jimmi to be so irresponsible, not to let anyone know where he is.’ Daniel’s concern was genuine, however he found himself continuing ‘actually, I need to talk to you about that.’
‘Oh?’ Zara stopped rummaging in the cupboard for mugs, intrigued with what Daniel was about to say.
‘Well, you know how I said Joe and I popped in to Cherry’s on the way to swimming?’ Daniel didn’t pause for Zara to answer for he didn’t want to be forced into a string of lies about his morning at Cherry’s, ‘well she wasn’t in a good way. She’s really not coping with Jim just disappearing like this. She was talking about heading down to Wales to look for him but she was in such a state I didn’t think it safe for her to drive so the only way I could think to stall her was to offer to drive her there myself tonight.’
Zara was silent before asking if there was no one else who could drive her there. ‘Well she doesn’t want to tell her parents so I guess she can’t really ask them. Listen, I know it’s a bit of an inconvenience for us but I’ll drive her down tonight and we’ll be back tomorrow evening. If it was anyone else but Jimmi I wouldn’t get involved but he’s my best mate so I sort of fell obliged.’ Daniel felt sick as he heard his words, Jimmi was his best friend he really shouldn’t be doing this.
‘No, no you should go. Jimmi would 100% do the same for you. I have a paperwork morning and we were both off in the afternoon anyway so it should be fine regards Joe.’ While Zara wasn’t thrilled at the thought of being inconvenienced for Princess Bubblegum’s cause she didn’t want to cause any arguments with Daniel after the altercation this morning and the progress the seemed to have made this evening.
Daniel clumsily kissed her cheek before heading upstairs to grab a few things to put in an overnight bag. As he rummaged around the bedroom in the dark so as not to waken the baby he couldn’t help but feel like he was playing with fire.
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Post by iheartdaniel on Jul 13, 2012 16:09:01 GMT 1
Zara
‘Thanks Karen,’ Zara uttered as the receptionist placed a mug of coffee down on the desk. Karen looked on sympathetically as Zara stood juggling a screaming Joe in her arms trying to calm him down. Joe had been particularly grizzly this morning and Zara couldn’t help but feel resentful towards Daniel for spoiling the routine she had endeavoured to create for the baby. ‘Oh someone’s not a very happy boy!’ Karen chimed as she stroked Joe’s leg before exiting the room. ‘You think?! ‘ Zara murmured under her breath as Karen got out of earshot.
Joe eventually settled, happy to play with the string of giraffes that hung down from his pram. It was eleven and Zara hadn’t got much done what with Joe’s interruptions she sighed as she thought of the extra time she’d need to spend at the Mill this afternoon trying to catch up. She turned to the computer calling up the file she needed but before she could start there was a knock of the door. Karen re-entered and before Zara could chastise her for doing so Karen began ‘Zara that’s Mr Godfrey on the phone, his wife’s really not in a good way, she’s in a lot of pain and he requested an urgent home visit.’ Mr Godfrey was one of Zara’s patients and she knew his wife, one of Heston’s was suffering from terminal cancer. The elderly gentleman was one of Zara’s preferred older patients for he seemed desperate to shun old age and didn’t come in listing the plethora of ailments so many of his generation did. ‘Right, well would it not be better if Heston did the visit?’
‘Heston’s got his minor surgical procedure clinic so you can’t cover. Elaine and Kevin are snowed under at the Campus so that just leave you.’
‘But I’ve got Joe here, I can’t very well take him along to a dying patient’s home!’
‘Well Imogen’s here so she can cover reception while I look after my favourite little man!’ Karen had already tailed off and was cooing over Joe in his pram.
While there was no denying that Karen had this uncanny ability to irritate Zara she implicitly trusted her to look after Joe. There had been numerous times Karen had rescued her from a screaming baby, returning him to his mummy placid and content. Moreover, Zara really did want to see Mr Godfrey. While he was not the patient he needed support for she could only imagine how emotionally distressing it must be to watch your partner slowly ebb away in front of your very eyes, powerless to help. He reminded her a lot of her father. Despite the decades between them in age they shared the same docile, gentle personality. She thought of Jed and how she wished she saw him more as she gathered up her things and headed to the carpark. She breezed through reception, kissing her finger before delicately placing them on Joe’s head as Karen stood with him on her hip while Immy tickled his feet. She mouthed ‘thanks’ to Karen before setting off to the Godfrey household. She didn’t need directions for it was only some streets away from Jimmi’s house, a route she had driven many times when Daniel had been too over the limit to drive himself home.
*** It was a horrible home visit. The frail woman was very close to the end so Zara chose to stay a little longer than she normally would, feeling that the elderly man could use a little support, hoping that her presence could bring him a little comfort. As she let her self out of the front door, leaving the couple in privacy, she knew that would be the last time she say Mrs Godfrey. As she climbed into her car she felt drained, despite her years of experience it didn’t get any easier to see a patient pass away. She tapped out a quick text to Karen apologising for taking so much longer than anticipated, confirming that she was on her way back to the Mill now. As she turned the key in the ignition her eye was caught by the sparkling diamond bracelet Daniel had given her some days after Baby Joe’s birth once they knew he was through the worst. After witnessing cancer devastating the couple inside she knew that life was too short to spend it squabbling and sniping. In that moment she resolved to make it up to Daniel, she knew she’d been difficult to live with of late and she hated the way she found herself constantly putting him down. He was a good father, he’d cared for Izzy as an infant single handedly so why she felt compelled to supervise and coordinate his time with Joe seemed irrational. Moreover, he truly loved her and she was doing her damndest to destroy this. He had accepted her with all her idiosyncrasies and flaws – for goodness sake he’d half prostituted his self in order to help her father’s cause – and it was only right that she did the same. She began to plan how she would greet him this evening when he came home. She’d make sure Joe was already in bed so the two could enjoy a meal together and indulge in conversation that was not solely focused on sleeping patterns and weaning. She’d missed Daniel, the way she felt safe when he was around. She wanted to feel close to him again, for them to regain the intimacy that used to define them.
As Zara began to reel off a shopping list for preparing the night’s meal she edged towards Jimmi’s home. She slowed, at first thinking the large car in the driveway was Jimmi’s, but as she got closer she could see it wasn’t. No. It was Daniel’s car. She felt a knot form in her stomach and a wave of sickness consumed her. She pressed her foot onto the accelerator, eager to flee the scene that had effectively torn her world apart. The very thought of Daniel with Cherry, well it was simply too much to bear.
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Post by bec2010 on Jul 13, 2012 18:15:59 GMT 1
Daniel Cherry’s head was buried in his underarm; he with his free arm stroked her blonde hair and the side of her face. Although the chemistry and passion between them last night had been electric, he couldn’t help but feel a pang of guilt, that he had left Zara at home, looking after Joe and the mood she was in, he might have got lucky with her, might have had the old Zara back, reviving the same spark him and Cherry now had. However Zara’s mood could have changed in an instant, another emotional rollercoaster, another argument and further tears spilt. He glanced over at the alarm clock, 6:59am, he would just have been showering now if it was a normal day but yet, here he was entangled with a beautiful blonde, a scenario he hadn’t found himself in for numerous years.
Daniel found himself reflecting on the old Daniel, he certainly missed it at times, the ability to go out several nights a week for more than just a few, the rush of placing an rather large bet and it delivering back to him in the thousands and the ability to be flash, not having to worry about keeping your family above water or your sons university fund. The more he thought about it, the more he felt guilt, not just for Zara but Izzy! What kind of father he was when she was small, she was four now, conceived through one of his many illicit love affairs that usually lasted no longer than a night, but by goodness he wouldn’t change her for the world. What would she think if she knew of him when she was first born, he had certainly improved as a father now worshiping the ground she walked on; sweets, ice cream and presents galore he only hopped would make up for that lost time and his hopeless initial effort to be her dad. He adored Joe too, just couldn’t move his head past the idea he had built up of himself being a mere substitute for his beautiful mother. What would Joe think of him once grown, would he think his dad to have acted like some sort of reckless teenager, having possibly two or more children with two or more women? If only he knew how much love and care had gone into his conception, would that make up for his dad reverting to type and cheating on his precious mother? He sincerely hoped that Cherry was using some sort of contraception, as fathering another child, that he would only let down one way or another scared him. The more he found himself deep in thought, the more he questioned his actions, who did he love Zara or Cherry, he remembered an old saying “If you find yourself in love with two people, choose the second one as if you truly loved the first, you wouldn’t love the second” so he must love Cherry, right?
Who was he kidding he had known Cherry intimately for a mere five minutes yet Zara over three years; he couldn’t love Cherry not at all. He had feelings for them both he recognised that, but at times his feelings for Zara outweighed any feeling he had for Cherry, but was that simply because she was the mother of his child. This spark with Cherry however, he hadn’t felt this in a long time, she really did have a hold on him and now it had started, being deceitful to Zara and spending surreptitious nights, isolated from the real world with Cherry, he was attached and there simply was no other way of going back. He could pretend things were over with Cherry, created an on the surface domesticity with Zara but who was he kidding, he had tried that with Lisa but true feelings eat away at the good intentions and sooner or later you find yourself starting it all over again, because it simple never went away in the first place.
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Post by bec2010 on Jul 13, 2012 19:57:37 GMT 1
Zara Zara arrive back at the Mill almost in a trance like state, that couldn’t be the only explanation she kept trying to tell herself, somewhere all behind what she had just witnessed there would be an innocent and logical explanation. What if they had taken Cherry’s car, no Zara remembered Daniel said Cherry was in no fit state to drive and why would Daniel drive her car when he had £50,000 worth of metal and technology to flash. Maybe they had found Jimmi, but then surely Daniel would have returned home and they could have had the night she planned. Every scenario she imagined in her head, she found the solution, the only real explanation was her boyfriend, her baby’s dad, her true love, was a cold and deceitful cheat. She walked into reception, waiting room empty and Imogen engrossed into the computer screen. Her only obstacle would be Karen and Joe in the staff room; she needed time alone, even without Joe. “Joe look, who is it? Its mummy” Karen putting on her highest pitch tone and pulling a comical face; Joe was facing Zara and gave her a warm and adoring smile. She tried to face, the best smile she could and pretend everything was alright, Zara reached her hand out to Joe, letting his grasp one of her fingers in his whole hand “Karen, you don’t mind whilst it’s quiet just keeping Joe for another five minutes just while I update Mrs Godfreys notes and call the palliative care team” Her eyes started welling up “Oh Zara, don’t cry. It’s such a sad time for them both but come on; you don’t usually get like this” She wasn’t sure how she could reply other than spinning a line about these baby hormones. How could she explain to the woman who could spread news faster than the news at 10, that her boyfriend was having it off with no one other than Princess Bubble-gum, who on the outside appeared all sweet and sparkly, but under that marshmallow exterior, this just proved she was rotten to the core.
Zara headed for her room eventually; after Karen giving her a mini lecture about baby hormones and she had them terrible after Immie cause Jack just wouldn’t sleep. She feeling at one stage to return the callous remark of well Jack certainly slept with me, however realised that would be doing the situation no favours.
She sunk into her chair, the leather swallowing her as she tried her best to curl up into a ball, burry her head into her legs and make it all go away. She exhaled almost with pain, she didn’t know why she was taking the moral high ground and felling all “Mother Teresa”, and in her unlawful past she was the other woman on several occasions, but Daniel wasn’t just any other man, he was her man, and yet her man didn’t love her, for he wouldn’t be carrying on like this behind her back. She wasn’t even sure how to proceed, she could take Joe and run but running from the problem always catches up with you eventually or she could simply just allow it to carry on and live a life of a step ford wife because no matter how much she hated Daniel, she could betray her baby boy of a dad. Daniel wasn’t the must dutiful father to Izzy, and by admission she had to credit him for his effort towards Izzy recently but she couldn’t have that for Joe. She couldn’t risk the chance of Daniel getting bored; the trips to come and see Joe become less frequent and for Joe to be hurt and let down every time Daniel failed to show. She knew she had to stick around to keep Daniel in Joe’s life and hopefully if she waited long enough he would return to her. At that moment Zara’s message tone pinged. She knew it wouldn’t be off Daniel as his new handset was waiting for him in the house and if he was using another handset, he wouldn’t be as stupid as to text her. She leant forward and picked up her mobile off the desk, sliding it up and pressing the read button “Hi Zara, sorry for bothering you, been trying to get in touch with Daniel but his phone goes straight to voicemail! So please can you ask him to get in touch, and in the meantime tell him I’m fine, staying at my sisters got here last night and don’t breathe a word of this to Cherry, I just need some time out. Hope you and Joe are well, thanks X Jim” Zara couldn’t have any more proof even if she had caught Daniel and Cherry in the throes of passion herself, if they had have gone to Wales, his sisters would have been one of the first places they had checked and this would be all over, Daniel home, where he belongs. But she realised Daniel didn’t care about his “best friend” just bedding his “best friends” wife. She was so upset, irate and her heart was broken. If Joe wasn’t involved she would have walked out on him here and now, but Joe needed a daddy and she could risk Joe not having one. It killed her growing up without her mother, Daddy was fantastic but being 14 and without any female influence, she was ignorant to many female situations such as periods, love, boys, sex and her weight. She could have Joe feeling the way she did at times, and Daniel had proven himself to be a great dad over the past few months with Joe. She knew you shouldn’t stay together for the children but she couldn’t deprive Daniel of being a dad or Joe having a dad.
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Post by iheartdaniel on Jul 15, 2012 19:46:34 GMT 1
Zara
While at first reluctant to accept the possibility that Daniel, the man she loved more than she had ever loved a man before, had betrayed her in the most unspeakable way Zara soon became unable to ignore the surmounting evidence that Daniel and Cherry were engaged in some kind of illicit affair. While it had now been some weeks since that awful day when Zara was confronted with the sight of Daniel’s car stationed upon Cherry and Jimmi’s driveway the pain she felt had not eased, rather it pierced her heart in just the same manner it had done that very afternoon. All that had changed was that Zara had become able to function with the pain. Indeed it was worst in the mornings, for it took a few seconds after waking to remember the whole horrid truth, and every single morning it hurt just as much as it had done on that horrible Wednesday afternoon. The days and weeks since Zara had made the discovery all seemed to blur into one homogenous cycle of crying and being alone as Daniel spent ever more time away from their home.
As she had waited on Daniel returning home Zara played different scenarios over and over in her head, envisaging the blazing row that would undoubtedly ensue if she was to let her anger run free. Rowing was not uncommon for the pair but Zara knew that if she were to confront Daniel about his indiscresion that every problem the pair had experienced must be laid bare and she knew that if this were to happen there would be no going back for the pair; it would mark a very definite end point in their relationship. For Zara this was simply not an option, for as angry and hurt as she was the prevailing thought in her mind was Joe and his need to have two parents in his life. Moreover she didn’t want to foist some kind of job-share parenting on the child but wanted him to grow up in a house where his two parents resided, where they were all part of one family. With Joe as her priority Zara resolved to simply act as though she had no knowledge of Daniel’s affair, instead she would suppress her hurt and anger and focus her attention upon her son. When Daniel did indeed return to their house late that evening and enter the lounge where Zara was steadying her nerves with a large glass of merlot they exchanged a short conversation where Daniel lamented the lack of success the trip had had before Zara made her excuses and headed upstairs. She was still awake but feigning sleep when Daniel tiptoed through the bedroom later that evening before he qickly fell sound asleep, once again leaving her to attend to the nocturnal feeds. She had managed to iron out all the details in her mind and had decided that she pass on Jimmi’s message the following morning, advising Daniel that it must have been sent shortly after they arrived back in Letherbridge. The next morning Daniel had responded in textbook fashion noting how unfortunate they had been so close to seeing Jimmi before kissing Zara on the cheek and stroking Joe’s hair. That evening when Daniel had returned home from his supposed journey to Wales had set out the pattern of what was to become Daniel and Zara’s new form of interaction, a mere trading of lies and failing to share anything that closely resembled the truth.
Daniel had explained his evening absences to Zara as a renewed interest in evening gym sessions. In many respects his absences suited Zara for it shortened the length of time she had to pretend that all was normal. Perhaps what hurt Zara the most was the change she had noted in Daniel. While in the weeks and months preceding the beginning of his relations with Cherry Daniel had seemed distant, almost depressed he was a different person these days. He always seemed to be in a good mood, he no longer seemed as though he had the weight of the world upon his shoulders but was more like the Daniel she had first been attracted to. She deeply resented Cherry for being the person able to restore the light in Daniel. The gym session cover story had been supplemented by a training courses the two had somehow both been booked on, an old university friend inviting Daniel for a golf weekend in Scotland and a sudden rush in the demand for botox in the Letherbridge area. Daniel was an appalling liar and Zara was angered further at his inability to construct an original, more thought out excuse to sneak away to his mistress instead he chose to rely on the oldest clichés in the adulterers’ book.
Zara had assumed it would get easier, that she would find comfort in her baby and work but it hadn’t eased and now one month on from the heinous discovery she was struggling to comprehend just how she could continue on living a lie considering the affair showed no signs of slowing down.
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Post by iheartdaniel on Jul 17, 2012 15:36:27 GMT 1
Daniel
Whilst Daniel had enjoyed his night, and indeed afternoon with Cherry, the way she made him feel wanted and like a proper man, it did not make the return home to Zara any easier. Despite the deep-seated troubles in their relationship he still loved her and did not want to see her hurt, and far less be the source of her anguish. As he returned to their home that evening Zara had greeted him as normal, offering her cheek to him as he entered the room where she was curled up on the sofa with a glass of red wine. Thankfully she had quickly excused herself before any awkward silence could linger. He waited until he expected she would be asleep and headed up to their bedroom, carefully climbing into their bed so as not to awaken Joe or Zara with his movements. The following morning a text from Jimmi to Zara nearly through Daniel but he felt he had managed to deal with the curveball in an appropriate and believable manner. On getting to work that morning he faced to odious task of replying to Jimmi. It was like lying to Zara all over again. He spent hours trying to craft a text message to his best friend, finally settling upon ‘Got your message from Z (my phone had been out of action, long story) glad to hear you are well. Think you should let Cherry know where you are, she’s v worried, but she won’t hear it from me. Hope you manage to get a clear head always here for you mate, D.’ Daniel felt a sudden wave of sickness as he hit the send button and was confronted with the full extent of his betrayal. Jimmi had replied thanking Daniel for his offer and asking him to look out for Cherry while he was gone. If only he knew, Daniel had thought to himself as the message flashed up upon his screen. Later that day he received a message from Cherry letting him know that Jimmi had texted her and they had decided to give each other a bit of space. Daniel and Cherry organised to meet at lunch where a further rendezvous was mooted for the following evening.
The first few times Daniel had lied to Zara about his whereabouts had been excruciating. He hated lying to her and he was especially bad at it. Gambler he may have been but he certainly lacked a poker face. Luckily Zara did not seem to challenge his renewed interest in the gym and as the weeks went on the lies became easier until he no longer felt the guilt at lying to his partner. Daniel was enjoying the excitement, the ability to escape from crushing domesticity and into a space of spontaneity with Cherry. It wasn’t just about sex but the ability to be carefree and enjoy each other’s company. Cherry was the kind of woman Daniel had always expected himself to end up with, she allowed him to be a man and she enjoyed cooking for him and attending to him. While he was in no rush to advance their relationship at present he imagined that she was the kind of woman who would relish being a housewife, staying at home and looking after the children while he went out to work before returning home to his adoring wife. Domestic life with Zara hadn’t quite worked out that way. Zara wanted it all, she wanted to be the world’s greatest mother, the world’s greatest doctor and at first it was this drive that had attracted Daniel; her tenacity and strength was like no woman he had ever known before. However, since Joe was born there had been something of a disconnect as Zara fought to retain her identity as a career woman whilst trying to oversee every facet of Joe’s life managing his care to the minutiae. Daniel felt increasingly emasculated by Zara’s actions. While he was very keen to play a very active role in the life of his children he hate the distrust and the way he had been subordinated to Zara’s needs.
Once Daniel knew that Jimmi and Cherry had decided upon time his guilt eased somewhat as he no longer felt solely responsible for the possible breakdown of their marriage. It had been some weeks now since Daniel and Cherry had orchestrated their first illicit night together and Daniel found himself pondering where this would all lead. In the beginning it hadn’t really been about the possibility of a new relationship, it wasn’t about leaving their partners to start a new life together rather it was about seeking a comfort in each other at the unhappiness they were experiencing in their respective relationships. However as more time passed and Cherry did not seem to lose interest in spending time with Daniel or sleeping them together Daniel felt he had to confront his own feelings. As Daniel thought about the affair the two had been conducting he became unable to separate the excitement and the thrill from his feelings for Cherry. He certainly knew that he still loved Zara but it had become impossible for the pair to share the relationship they had once had. However, whether he loved Cherry or not seemed unimportant for the time being as Daniel knew that he could not and, indeed, did not want to return to the depression his life had been for the months before he had embarked upon this series of assignations with Cherry.
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Post by iheartdaniel on Jul 19, 2012 13:09:04 GMT 1
Cherry
As Daniel returned to her bedroom fresh from the shower, Cherry was transfixed just watching him. They hours they had spent together over the last two days, holed up alone in Cherry’s home had been blissful. It was easy with Daniel she didn’t feel like quiet moments were awkward silences that needed to be filled with inane chatter as she did with Jimmi. As Daniel got dressed she watched him gather up all his belongings, removing all traces of his presence from her home, readying himself to return home to Zara. She felt a pang of guilt wave over herself as she thought of Zara, the new mother at home alone minding the baby; her and Daniel’s dalliance was the very definition of a cliché. But the guilt passed quickly and soon her mind had switched instead to jealousy that Zara had Daniel in her bed every night while Cherry would have to return home alone to her empty home, her now empty life. After they had shared a final lingering embrace Daniel left while Cherry stood in the lounge window watching his car lights as they travelled along the street before disappearing into the night.
As Cherry headed for the kitchen she caught sight of herself in the dining room mirror. There she was clad in the black silk lingere she had bought some months prior in an effort to try and reignite some passion into her relationship with Jimmi; the items had not left the box from the day she had purchased them until yesterday when she knew Daniel would be visiting. Despite now being aware that her marriage was essentially now dead Cherry still felt a degree of sadness that she had been unable to make it work with Jimmi. She had always wanted it to be him, for them to be forever united against the world. However, the last few hours with Daniel had somewhat eased the sadness as Cherry got swept up into the excitement of their shenanigans.
Cherry poured her self the remaining wine from the bottle she had opened with Daniel the previous night and pulled up a chair at the dining room table. She flicked through some of the photos of the recent Mill summer barbecue she’d had printed to pin up on the boards in the staffroom. As she found herself wistfully looking at a photo of Daniel holding a gleeful baby Joe in the air, a irrepressible smile talking over her face as she stroked ran her finger across Daniel’s face. She couldn’t help but wish that she was the final piece in this family scene. As she realised the forward plans she was subconsciously forming she shook herself, ‘what are you doing Cherry!?’ she said, chastising her rather teenage thoughts. They had shared a few stolen moments of passion, for now it was just sex and too early to be having such girlish thoughts of marriage and babies. Marriage hadn’t exactly worked out well this time, why would rushing into another commitment prove anymore successful?
Cherry was still on leave the next day and settled herself in for a session of inane daytime television. That afternoon her phone pinged to alert her to a message. It was from Jimmi. As she read his name across the screen she felt her stomach knot and sickness rise in her body. After summoning up the courage to read his message they exchanged a few text messages deciding that they both needed space to contemplate what they wanted and where they should go from here. While text message seemed a rather juvenile and impersonal way to deal woth a situation of such gravity Cherry was pleased not to have to hear Jimmi’s voice or navigate the undoubtedly uncomfortable silences their phone conversation would bring. Moreover, Cherry was an emotional woman and she didn’t trust herself not to turn into a crying mess, spilling out all the sordid details of her betrayal with Daniel.
Contact from Jimmi worked to lift a burden from Chery. While she was steadfast in her knowledge that she loved him she knew that she was no longer in love with him and this residual love was not the appropriate foundation for marriage. While she was glad to know Jimmi was safe and well she did not find herself contemplating contacting him, begging him to return to her, in the days and weeks that followed his message. Cherry had learnt much about her self since Jimmi had left, for one she much stronger and capable of being alone than she had ever given herself credit for.
In the weeks since their initial tryst Cherry saw Daniel frequently. Work proved a real test of their strength as they had to carry on as normal despite the desire they had to spend every second they could together. However, Daniel had constructed a cover story of evening gym visits allowing him to spend evenings at Cherry’s. The excitement had not faded with time, she still had butterflies in her stomach seeing Daniel’s car arriving in the driveway, reaching fever pitch when she opened the door to him and he swept her up in his arms. She loved the way he stroked her hair and tenderly kissed her forehead, they shared an intimacy that she had never experienced with her husband. She felt safe with Daniel. He was everything she had ever dreamed of - the alpha male type - strong and masculine, always there to protect her.
Their nights together always ended the same way, Cherry left begging Daniel not to go home to Zara but to stay with her and with him responding by reassuring her with kisses and tender embraces that he would much rather stay but he had to go. While she would not trade her time with him for anything she was always left bereft when their stolen moments together came to an end.
The longer their relationship continued without any threat of discovery from Zara or Jimmi Cherry began to think more of where this relationship was going. Indeed was it even a ‘relationship’ or was it just sex, a bit of fun? She knew that their relationship would not end well, there were so many innocent people involved that hurt was guaranteed. There were sure to be broken hearts whatever the outcome. But for now Cherry was enjoying the excitement, Daniel had given her her life back and she was happy to suppress the lingering feeling of dread and be swept up in the adventure for the time being.
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Post by bec2010 on Jul 22, 2012 9:10:26 GMT 1
Zara
Zara lay in the bath with a glass of pinot grigio, despite feeling sick everytime she drank alcohol it was the only thing that seemed to numb the pain; loosing him was heart breaking enough but loosing him to her was earth shattering. If she thought about it for too long, she would break down and cry, yet she couldn't stop thinking about it,it consumed her thoughts minute after minute, day after day. She wondered what they would be doing this precise moment, no doubt curled up in each others arms after a steamy romp or wistfully looking into each others eyes over a three course meal, consumed in each others presence. Zara felt nauseated, out of all of the people he could choose why would he choose her, leggy skinny blondes with double d's fell at his feet and swoon over his charm on a daily basis but yet he chose princess bubblegum to succumb to. Princess bubblegum, and what was so special about princess bubblegum, she was hardly the catch of the century, although she would hand one over too her, she had a much better cleavage than Zara but bar that she was under average, short dumpy and a bit on the chubby side. Zara reached for the fluffy bath robe and climbed out of the bath, she caught glimps of her naked body in the mirror and stared at it,giving it a critical evaluation. She admitted maybe she now had bags under her eyes, her face was sunken and the skin lacked any healthy glow. She moved her eyes further down, and yes maybe her boobs weren't as pert as they once were, but she had been pregnant and breasted. Her tummy seemed to still show the last remenants of a baby bump, a baby bump that never seemed to go no matter how many times she power walked with the pram around the park and yes maybe she did have a few stretch marks but she wouldnt change any of it, she had her beautiful son Joe and that's all that mattered. Zara walked through to her sons nursery, she had decorated and sorted it all by herself yesterday, as much as it broke her heart not having him in her room, he was simply far to big for the Moses basket. She watched him sleep, he was the total double of Daniel and every day he grew more and more like his daddy. Zara kissed her finger and placed it on top of his head "mummy loves you, always has and always will" a single tear rolled down her face, she wondered why she couldn't have gave him the perfect like, he had all the superficial stuff but just not a mummy and daddy who lived nor loved together anymore. She turned back into her room, and saw she had one unread message on her phone, it was off Daniel. "won't be home tonight again" no excuse or explanation, it was easier that way at least he didn't lie twice now, just simply stated fact. She turned off her phone, the only person she needed in her life was in the next room. It was only 8:30pm but Zara was so tired, the last time she remembered feeling like this she was 30 weeks pregnant with Joe,the bump grew by epic proportions that week and she felt like she had the weight of the world on her front, but yet now she just had the weight of the world on her shoulders. Who was even this Zara she had become, a step ford housewife who simply conformed with the stereotypical family life instead of standing up for what she believed in and being a strong and independent woman. She flicked the bed side light off and curled up into the cold, crispy white and almost clinical duvet, she knew tonight would be a long night as Joe was teething, the ten or so times she got up the previous night she was alone and she knew tonight would be exactly the same.
....
The endless crying began at 11pm, the calpol Zara had given him earlier must have worn off, his face was stained with tears and his hand all raw from where he had been trying to pacify himself. "Come on Joe, it's all alright, mummy's here" she scooped her little boy out of his cot and cuddled him into her chest, holding the back of his head. They walked downstairs and Zara produced a teething ring from the freezer, the tears immediately stopped once the cool plastic was against his gums. She always wondered what would have happened if their first attempt of IVF had gone successfully, two viable embryos meant twins. She at the moment was finding it difficult coping alone with one but couldnt even bear to imagine having two. Joe looked up at Zara, still chewing the plastic ring and gave her a tired smile. It was moments like this Daniel missed out on, small touching moments when Joe would melt your heart. "Lets go back to bed my gorgeous boy, if daddy's sharing his bed, so can Mummy" and with that Zara climbed the stairs with Joe in her arms and placed him into her bed.
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Post by bec2010 on Jul 24, 2012 9:31:17 GMT 1
Cherry
She lay hugging the toilet bowl, she knew she and Daniel had got carried away last night but this was horrendous. After sinking a few bottles of wine at dinner they then came home and opened a bottle of bourbon, the only other alcoholic drink Cherry had in the house. She felt awful, couldn’t stop being sick and the room was spinning.
“Daniel” she started crying. He came over to her and scooped her hair up from her face, holding it tight behind her head and rubbing her back. He looked so perfect, even when he was hung-over. He had a fantastic body, she couldn’t ever remember looking at Jimmi and thinking wow, but every time she looked at Daniel she got that feeling. The butterflies in her stomach every time she saw him remained.
Cherry tried to get ready and get sorted for work despite feeling she had been run over by a train. She had never experienced the sickness and constant nausea she currently had, but thankfully she didn’t have the headache to cope with as well.
Daniel bent down and kissed her forehead “Do you think you can manage driving to work”
“Mm” She uttered through gritted teeth in case she was sick. Daniel couldn’t help but laugh “Cherry I have never seen anyone drink whisky in such large quantities as you were last night.”
“Don’t remind me, I just want to curl up and cry.”
“Why don’t you call in sick and we can spend the day together, I can think of several ways to get rid of your hangover, exercise always works for me!” He gave her a cheeky wink and pulled her in close.
She pushed him away “as much as im tempted, I have to go” kissing him and gathering her things, heading for the door.
Cherry drove to work, despite not even knowing if she was over the limit or not, but the quicker the day was over the better. However tonight she would be spending the night alone because Daniel couldn’t pretend the “Botox clinic conference” had ran over, as much as she wanted him to. She pulled into the car park just at the same time Zara did, both of them giving each other a look. Cherry now knew Zara must know something; she wasn’t stupid, so her glance was more of pity and guilt rather than Zara’s woman scored stare.
Nausea still consumed Cherry, and she needed to be sick again. She quickly made her way through reception, bypassing Karen who followed her, heading straight to the staff toilets, nearly having a head on collision with Elaine who had just come out of a cubicle. Cherry started being sick, she wondered how she would explain this to Howard. She heard the cubicle door closing next to her, thinking Karen had gone to the toilet and she would have a clear pathway, delaying the questions further.
Instead she opened the cubicle door, finding Karen and Elaine staring straight at her with concern.
Karen wasted no time with the interrogation “Are you okay sweetie?”
“I’m fine; I just feel poorly, don’t know if it’s something I ate or a sickness bug, I don’t know.” Cherry really just wanted the ground to swallow her up; she was hung-over, not poorly.
“You sure you’re okay Cherry, I mean im only taking the concerned friend route but there’s other causes other than being poorly.’ Elaine paused as Cherry screwed her face up wondering where the converstaion was going. “I mean…it’s the morning, if you haven’t noticed. You couldn’t be pregnant… could you?” Elaine questioned.
Cherry stopped paralysed by the thought. Pregnant. She hadn’t even thought of that as a possibility. She couldn’t be pregnant could she? She was using the contraceptive injection and she had never missed one. She couldn’t be pregnant; she was only hung-over, wasn’t she?
“No, I don’t think so” was all she managed to reply, her mind still clouded with pregnancy thoughts. For goodness sake why was she even thinking of this , she was hung-over, anyone would be vomiting after two bottles of wine and several bourbons.
“Well what do you mean you ‘don’t think so!!’ ” Karen exclaimed, dying for more information.
Cherry had been put on the spot, her mouth had gone dry. “Well me and Jimmi haven’t been together for a 7 weeks, and” she began to stumble “and well I use contraception, and I would know I’m a nurse.” She couldn’t deal with any more questions, she had come to work believeing it was just a hangover and here she was now convinced she somehow was pregnant with either Jimmi or Daniel’s child.
“You know contraception doesn’t always work, as you know, and you could easily be over 7 weeks.” Elaine added, stroking Cherry’s hand.
She suddenly snapped “Look im hung-over not pregnant, and even if was pregnant it’s hardly ideal is it?!” and with that Cherry stormed out.
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Post by bec2010 on Jul 25, 2012 9:24:09 GMT 1
Zara Silent tears started rolling down Zara’s face, she had to keep quiet so no one would realise she was here. She couldn’t believe what she had just heard; Princess Bubble-gum could be pregnant by her Daniel. He was hardly the best dad to the two he had, never mind adding to his brood! She had never felt so many emotions in one go, she wanted to burst out of the toilet cubicle, grab Cherry by her hair and have a confrontational bawl and on the other hand she just wanted to breakdown. She had let herself be hurt, used and abused, for what , a man who barely cared about her and her son. How much more could she take, she didn’t even recognise herself anymore. A wave of nausea came over her and she began to be sick, the physical and emotional turmoil seemed to just keep growing, this had to end, sooner rather than later, for all 3 of their sakes.
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